


Flexibility Classic

by AJ_Jesterdude_Gone_Wild



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, NSFW, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 10:30:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16721628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJ_Jesterdude_Gone_Wild/pseuds/AJ_Jesterdude_Gone_Wild
Summary: John finds a dildo.





	1. Flexibility

John wasn’t gay. He knew that, and he made sure everyone else had known it too. And yet he was here, looking at a dildo. John had been walking through his house, when he spotted the fake penis lying under his bed. The phallic rubber toy wasn’t his, as he wasn’t gay and he had never bought one, yet here it was. He had stood it up on the bed next to him, and he began to ponder where it could’ve came from. 

 

Maybe it was a friend’s? He flipped through his friend list in his head, and yet he couldn’t see anyone having it. The green sex toy was of average length, maybe 5.6 inches, John guessed. It looked similar to his own tool, although he was sure he was just a smidge wider. The more he looked over it, he began to wonder if maybe, the name of the owner was written on it. He held the dildo in his hands.

 

He turned it over, and over, and over again with no luck. He had noticed that it had a few veins, and it was clean, as well. As if it had never been used. A thought crossed John’s mind.

 

‘It wouldn’t hurt….to maybe have a quick taste?’

 

John shook his head, dismissing the rogue thought. He wasn’t gay! But the cool, rubber toy seemed inviting...and after all, didn’t Rose say something about Breath players being about flexibility? John was sure of it. He held the green cock, as if it were a lollipop, and gave it a quick, short lick. 

 

John sat there, just puzzled. It didn’t taste that bad, actually. John then gave it a slow, long taste. His tongue ran over it, getting a nice taste of the rubber dick. He paused for a moment, and looked down at his pants. An obvious tent had been pitched, and his face flushed pink. He set down the phallic object, and unzipped his pants. His erection sprang out, still confined in his dark blue boxers.

 

Carefully, he slipped his member out of the underwear, so it could breathe. His 5.7” dick wasn’t anything too special, not too wide or big, not too veiny or hairy. Just right in the middle. He stroked his cock, slowly, as he used his other hand to grab the dildo, and put it up to his lips. He gradually took it into his mouth, circling the head of the phallic green object with his tongue. He licked each and every inch, making sure it got attention where it needed it. Another stray thought crossed his mind, and he quickly set the dildo down and ran to his bathroom. He scoured the room, searching for his trusty lube. He found it lying next to the toilet.

 

He scurried back to his room, and set the dildo down onto the floor, and popped the cap off the lube bottle. He glanced from the bottle to the dildo, questioning how much should be used. John shrugged, and squeezed out a good sized amount, lubricating the fake penis. He slid off his pants and boxers, and positioned himself above the toy. He took a deep breath in, and slowly lowered down. It hurt. Oh my god did it hurt. John stopped himself, and sat down on his bed. Shaking his head, he cleaned up, and threw himself back together. Maybe another time, he thought. 


	2. John and Karkat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Karkat hang out.

It had been about 3 days since John’s experiment with the dildo. He’d been doing just fine, and he had picked it up a second time, but still, he wimped out. He invited Karkat over, to watch THE ROOM, one of the best worst movies of all time. At around 1 PM, Karkat arrived. John opened the door.

 

“I’M HERE.” Karkat said, in his usual aggressive tone.

 

“Welcome! I have it all set up, just step inside!”

 

Karkat walked in, and sat down on the couch. John sat next to him, and they began to watch Tommy work his shitty, shitty magic. Suddenly the TV switched off, as well with the lights. 

 

“AW HELL, NOW WHAT?” Karkat groaned. 

 

“I think the power went out…..shit.”   
  


“WELL WHAT’S THE PLAN NOW, EGBERT?”

 

John shrugged. The sun had just set, casting the darkness upon the house. He went looking for a flashlight, but all he could find was candles and matches. He lit them, and placed them around, making sure there was enough light. It was a tad over dim, but John and Karkat could still see each other.

 

The two sat in awkward silence, having trouble breaking it. Karkat finally spoke up.

 

“SO…..WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE THAT WE COULD DO?” He asked, boredom possessing his words.

 

“Uh…..hm. I don’t really have anything else…..but I do have….an idea.” John answered, a sly grin passing over his face.

 

“WHAT IS IT?”

 

“Recently I’ve been uh…..experimenting,” John explained, “And, I was…..wondering if you could uh….maybe help me out here? Nothing serious….just a BJ….”   
  
Karkat sat there. He was staring off into the distance, and he looked like he was thinking about it. Seconds felt like years. John realized that maybe he messed up.

 

“Shit, sorry du-” He began.   
  
“FINE. GET OVER HERE.” Karkat grumbled, unzipping his pants.

 

John, shocked, got down on the floor, and helped Karkat get his member free. It hung out of his boxers, flaccid. John leaned in, and took it into his mouth, as he had done with the green dildo a few days earlier. Karkat had to have been about, say, 6.4 inches? He did what he had done with the sex toy; circling his head with his tongue, and being slow and gentle, making sure his teeth came no-where near Karkat’s junk.

 

“F-FUCK…..” Was all Karkat was able to get out, for he was filled with pleasure. John was shockingly good at this.

 

John took the whole thing down, his nose pressed up against Karkat’s curly pubic hairs. He went back, leaving only the tip in his mouth. They fell into a pattern, back and forth, with the short break for John to give attention to other things. Soon, they quickened their pace, faster and faster.

 

“J-JOHN….I THINK I’M G-GONNA…” Karkat cried out, quickly pulling John off his dick.

 

He shot rope after rope of white gooey liquid all over John’s face, hair and glasses.

 

“...SORRY.” He apologized.

 

“Eugh….don’t worry about it…...I’m gonna take a shower…”   
  
“WAIT….I THINK YOU, UH…...SHOULD BE REWARDED.” Karkat hastily added, a suggestive look sprawled on his face.

 

John smiled. He was going to enjoy this.


	3. John Takes It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John takes it.

A little over a week had passed since John’s hangout with Karkat, and John was ready to experiment once again. None of his friends were available, so he grabbed the dildo once more, as well as his bottle of lube. He went to his room, and threw off his pants, and boxers. John sat the dildo on the floor, and popped open the bottle. He quizzically looked at the dildo.

 

He squeezed out more than enough, and lubed the sex toy well. He also put a tad on his fingers, this time he would prepare himself. He lay on his side, and with one hand, spread his cheeks revealing his tight, pink asshole. With his other hand, he slowly, and carefully pushed a well-lubed finger in. It hurt, slightly. He pushed it all the way in, and then pulled it back out. He continued the slow pattern of in and out. The pain slowly diminished, and was replaced with a bit of pleasure. John switched to two fingers.

 

After he was done prepping his behind, he positioned himself above the rubber dick. He lowered himself, and the head quickly pushed through. A moan escaped John’s mouth.

 

“A-Ahn!”

 

It hurt, like before, but not as much. The fingering before really did help. He continued to lower, until it was all inside of him. He stifled more moans as he lifted himself up. He fell into a pattern, slowly down, slowly up, the pain diminishing, replaced with pleasure as he continued. After a while, the pain had subsided, letting lust have it’s way. John quickened his pace, going up and down faster, as his hand moved to stroke his cock. 

 

Moans of lust spilled from John’s mouth, as he came. Rope after rope of hot white cum spilled out of his dick, spraying the floor. John sat, fake cock still resting inside him. He lifted himself up, slowly, and went to take a shower.

 

‘That was nice,’ John thought. ‘Maybe I’ll do it again sometime.’


End file.
